Outside The Box

People separated by time and geography are likely to develop distinct characteristics including language. Even if they share a common language, these separations can produce different accents or dialects. In the United States alone, at least 15 different accents are recognizable, and separate from those produced by immigration and ethnicity.

The state of Maine, for example, is home to an accent that is different from that of the rest of New England, which itself is recognizable in its distinct vowel sounds and ties to British English. The dialect of the Southern Appalachians is unique and distinct from the broader range of Southern English, with influences from Scots-Irish, English, German, and Welsh settlers which produced singular nuances due to geographic isolation.

In addition to heterogeneity of dialect, different life experiences also produce idioms and expressions unique to their regions, and this I have found most interesting and enjoyable traveling in North America.

I’m particularly fond of the idioms of rural life, some of which transcend geographic boundaries because they grow from common experiences on the farm and the ranch. Life in the cities seems to me to produce more homogeneity in language. The faster pace calls for efficiency and expedience. On the farm, the pace is set by seasons and natural rhythms, and there is more time to consider the crafting of a truly satisfying turn of phrase. Let’s enjoy a few of those before they disappear into the history books.

One of my all-time favorites comes from my boss when I worked for the Forest Service in the mountains of New Mexico. He was a self-described “Okie from Muskogee,” and his ranching experience growing up helped him feel quite at home in the cattle country of the far west. When he observed a braggart, a pretender, a big talker, he would say, “He’s all hat and no horse,” or “Lots of manure but not a cow in sight.”

Many bosses today could take a page from Jimmy’s book when it came to inspiring workers to achieve their best efforts. Every morning when we were discussing the day’s work, he would bring up a particular problem and say, “Now what a man could do …” and we knew not only exactly how he wanted it done but that he trusted us to do it.

“He’s got a face like the south end of a north-bound mule.” I’ve heard that expression in rural areas from the Southern Appalachians to the Southern Rockies. “Take a tater and wait,” my grandfather would tell his children when they were impatient. From my great-grandfather, “That politician would lie as quick as a cat would lick its hind end.”

Some of my favorite Appalachian expressions were the “punch lines” of well-known vignettes which might have been unknown outside of the community centered on the particular cove, creek, or church where they originated. From the Hightower community in Towns County, passed down from the mid-1800s, I often heard “Drive the cart on” when we exhibited the laziness particular to teenagers growing up. Here’s the story behind the expression:

A man who lived on the head of the creek became too lazy to farm. Time passed and he didn’t make a crop one year. He was soon out of food. “Root, hog, or die hungry,” a neighbor told him. “It’s no use,” said the man. “I’m just going to lay down and wait to die.” Winter was approaching, and the community was sad for the man, but life was hard and they had their own mouths to feed.

When the man became too weak to get out of bed, they sent for the undertaker so they could bury him before the ground froze. The man’s neighbor couldn’t stand the thought of letting him die, so he loaded up his wagon with corn from his crib and drove his horses hard to overtake the undertaker. “Stop the cart,” he said. “I’ve brought you enough corn to last you through the winter.”

Weak from hunger, the man raised himself up and with a feeble voice said, “Is it shelled?” “Well no,” said the neighbor. “I didn’t have time.” The man slowly laid back down and said, “Drive the cart on boys, drive the cart on.”

Sadly, the ubiquity of our communication matrix is steadily erasing the distinctive accents, idioms, and even the folk tales of our people. The influence of geographic separation began to decline with the interstate highway and has all but disappeared with a smartphone in every hand, all the time, everywhere. The influences of faith, family, and cultural heritage are replaced by the questionable choices of the bureaucratic state and a handful of corporations, news talkers, and movie producers.

Consider how few Americans (about 7%) have ever served in the military, but how many of us know what it means when I say, “I’ve got your six,” or a number of other expressions unique to the armed forces. Consider how, through the influence of media, literacy, and grammar seek the lowest common denominator, and how in one generation the grammatically correct “I am going to” devolved to “Ima.”

As easily as PFAS pollutes drinking water, the communications matrix influences the minds of millions through whatever is chosen to become popular, fashionable, or true, and there is one aspect of this phenomenon that I find particularly distasteful.

What was once considered foul language has become all but socially acceptable, while what was once considered grammar has all but become foul language. When is the last time you watched a recently made movie that was devoid of a word considered by some to be a throwback to the medieval acronym for “fornicate under consent of king?” This is not the only example by far of a trend toward language that emphasizes body parts, bodily functions, violence, misogyny, and hatefulness.

I’ve grown weary of the debate with those who find nothing wrong with “colorful language.” They tell me, “It doesn’t affect you, so why do you care? I’ve got a right to say whatever I want.” To which I reply, “I have a right to break wind while I’m on the elevator with you. Do you think I should exercise that right?”

It does matter because thoughts are things, and a culture obsessed with pronouns should not be willfully blind to the effects of words that exist only to convey contempt. They are the verbal equivalent of throwing trash out the car window, and any argument otherwise is all hat and no horse.