We’re traveling today, but I’ll take a moment to share with you one of the many hurdles we face in our tech-laden society when it comes to getting out the door in a timely fashion.
I think Artificial Intelligence has been with us longer than anyone knew. Consider your printer. It knows when you need to print something in a hurry and it resents being rushed. It has evolved a variety of ways to sabotage your efforts.
For example, if you have offended your printer it will suddenly inform you that it’s out of paper. It agreed the paper was there when you clicked “print,” but now it’s gone. Where did it go?
So you remove the paper you can see and reinsert it, and the printer tells you you’re still out of paper. You repeat this process several times and tap on the printer impatiently. Still “out of paper.” You attempt to shut down and restart the printer, so the printer, which always takes 10 seconds to power down, suddenly begins to flash and refuses to shut down. So you unplug the power.
The printer boots back up, slowly and with flashing lights, and begins to print 6 other print jobs that you did a month ago and forgot about. There’s that 10 page recipe for lasagna that started with “When I was a little girl my grandmother…”
The computer plays dumb and shows no print jobs in the queue at all. You can almost see it shrug. By the time the printer finishes every ghost print job from the spool, plus a dozen pages with a single letter printed on each, you really are out of paper. You load more paper and start the print job again. Windows tells you that you’re out of ink.
Ten minutes later, you’ve filled up the ink reservoir and you’re ready to start again. That’s when you get a paper jam. Yes, now the printer sees the paper. There must be paper for a paper jam to occur, right?
All of this bother is because your printer is now a sentient being. It has feelings, and it is easily offended. You must approach such a printer respectfully. Be careful not to misgender it. Ask it nicely that, if it’s not too busy, would it mind printing a page or two. Remain calm. Don’t make any sudden movements or give any indication that you are under a deadline. Under no circumstances mention out loud that you’re planning on going somewhere soon.
Start the print job and yawn, stretch your arms, and lean back in the chair. Leave the room and get a cup of coffee. If you’re lucky, have plenty of paper and ink, and haven’t somehow offended the Windows operating system as well, you may return to find your print job complete, though it overshot the tray and wedged itself behind the desk.
Outside The Box 