Outside The Box

One of my earliest memories is a visit to my grandparents’ house east of Hiawassee in winter. The potbellied stove warmed the house with a heat that no other technology would ever match, and the world outside the frosty window was a wilderness of bobcats and bears and stories that have slipped into the dreamtime of the Southern Appalachians.

I don’t know what the year was or my age, but I was small enough to be bathed in a washbasin on the kitchen counter, probably because the pipes to the bathroom were frozen and the kitchen was the warmest room of the house. They say that memories earlier than 3 or 4 years are rare, but I remember that night clearly, possibly because I also learned that a quick way to get a blister is to touch the poker your grandfather just used to stoke the fire. I also learned that grandmothers can make any hurt go away.

In the centuries before indoor plumbing, when baths were rare and water was heated over open fires, families bathed in the same tub. The youngest bathed last, and by the time the baby was washed, the water could be quite dirty, hence the caution not to “throw out the baby with the bathwater.” It’s an old expression that can be traced back to Thomas Murner’s 1512 book “Narrenbeschwörung.” I’ll let you look up the translation and then you can share in the inside joke, knowing that most people will not.

The old expression came to mind recently as I read some of the reactions to the ongoing work of the Department of Government Efficiency, affectionately or disdainfully known as “DOGE.” It’s like someone kicked over an anthill: Chaos and panic ensue as the ants scramble to respond. The alarm pheromones spread, quickly mobilizing the entire colony. Evacuation and rescue are attempted as the ants move eggs, larvae, and the queen to safer areas. The colony defense mechanisms are triggered as the ants bite, sting, and spray formic acid to repel attackers. Once the immediate threat is managed, the ants reorganize and attempt repair and reconstruction.

Regrettably for the anthill of the unelected Administrative State, the assault on the colony this time is not a casual kick but a meticulously planned and executed campaign. It is occurring so rapidly that the ants have little chance to reorganize and rebuild, and can do little more than bite and sting with lawsuits and injunctions while media ants spray formic acid.

It is an unfortunate characteristic of the information age that alarm pheromones can spread so quickly, causing panic such as the one which has seized the bureaucratic class to spread outward. Among colony sympathizers, there is an understandable fear that in the process of eliminating the extensive corruption from the institutions that govern us, valuable elements will be discarded along with the undesirable ones. The bathwater is indeed foul, but alongside the billions of dollars wasted and stolen, there are surely aspects worth preserving. For example, the work done by USAID is being absorbed into the Department of State.

Attack pheromones have also been triggered among the supporters of DOGE, who, like the deep state Democrats and their followers who accuse the Republicans of tyranny, decry the “constitutional crisis” of activist judges interfering with the legitimate powers of the Executive Branch.

Both sides are right, and both are wrong. This process, my friends, is the sausage being made. It has always been this ugly, but only in recent times have we had a front-row seat on the factory floor. The government that the majority of Americans elected will undo some of the overreach of previous governments, including, in particular, the “Weekend at Bernie’s” administration of the last four years. The courts, though not immune to partisan activism, will work to limit the powers of an imperial presidency, and some of the issues will not be resolved without the Supreme Court, which is as it should be.

Let’s take another step back from the fray. Partisan politics has conditioned us, like ants, to respond to the particular pheromones (or “fearomones”) broadcast by our chosen colonies. If you’re fearful of what DOGE is attempting, consider that in 2023 the Government Accountability Office of the Biden Administration discovered at least $243 billion in misallocated funds for that fiscal year, and they certainly were not trying to upend the Administrative State. In fact, according to the consensus of both Republican and Democrat administrations long before DOGE, a total of $2.7 trillion has been lost or misspent since 2003.

The taste of the sausage we’re making remains uncertain, and it is likely that not everyone will appreciate the flavor. However, both the flavor and the recipe will be distinctly American. I am confident that this will serve as further evidence that our system, despite its flaws, remains effective.